The Kindness Of Strangers

This week I started something I haven’t attempted in thirteen years. Something I find both exciting and terrifying, empowering and vulnerable. I decided many months ago to write and record and self release and album and last week I launched the Kickstarter to fund it. That may not sound like much, putting out records is is part of my job but this one is different. On the “story” page of the campaign site I lay out what the record is about but the elevator pitch is that the album tells the tale of the last days before “rock bottom” for me. You can read all about it when you decide to contribute … hint hint.

That’s not the vulnerable part, I’ve come to terms with being public about sobriety and how I got there. What really makes me feel exposed is asking people for help. As much as I would like to put my head down and force things into existence or make change in my life I have realized over these past twenty eight months that I can’t do it alone. I need support … as much as I hate to admit it.

The devil in the details is that we’re talking about money. Talking about money is awkward which is odd considering I live in a capitalist country that is obsessed with it. But, that’s a debate for another time. I think talking about money publicly is uncomfortable for me because of what I’ve heard others describe as “punk rock guilt”. This idea that making a living playing music is somehow selling out. I’m projecting I think. Pretty sure “Dookie” changed the zeitgeist around this particular issue thirty years ago. Punk is a viable mainstream form of music these days, why worry about the judgement of other “old timers” like me?

Maybe it’s being from the Midwest? The quiet stoicism of a Kansas farmer who just “does the work” and doesn’t speak unless it’s absolutely necessary. I’ve got some of that in me for sure. But, even that Grant Wood “American Gothic” ideal is still dependent on the kindness of strangers. Unless you’re “off the grid” you’re growing crops to sell them to sell them to markets or or feed companies or grocery conglomerates or any host of other vendors. You might even need some extra funds from Uncle Sam just to keep the farm a float. Nobody is truly an island.

All this is to say that putting our records takes two things … time and money. I guess it takes talent and drive as well and luck doesn’t hurt either. Ok, putting out records takes many things but two big ones are time and money. Even with my current touring schedule I have time to commit to this project. My kids are older now and don’t need as many of my waking hours anymore. Hell, they can all vote! With the exception of the weekend we’re at FEST (feels like summer in Octoooober, to me!)

I’ve got time off from the road to fulfill all the Kickstarter orders in the fall. I’ve got my youngest, Jerzy, enlisted to help and be paid a living wage for their time. Time is not the issue, money is.

Putting out records, just like starting any small business, is expensive. I guess I could try and get a loan from a bank but who knows if that would even work and what’s less “punk” than that? Not that I care, that’s just a funny thought. No, the route that I’ve chosen is a kind of pre-order and crowdfunding hybrid. The bulk of this campaign is just folks ordering copies of the vinyl of which there are four variants. All the variants are exclusive but three of them are limited edition. Once they are gone, they are gone. The rest of the campaign is either online based services like writing custom songs (which I do anyway and have for years) or private “house shows” on the bougie, expensive side of things. There are also other “ad ons” like video messages, AMAs, handwritten letters, that sort of stuff. There is an option to just contribute to the cause but as of this writing I don’t think anyone has actually done that.

All this is to say that is that I’m proud of this record and that I want to share it with as many people as possible. I needed help to record it, help to mix it, help to design it, help to manage it. I’ll need to distribute it, promote it, tour on it and surly some other aspects I haven’t even thought of. All of these require me to rely on the support of others, it’s not something I can do alone. That’s hard for any workaholic to admit but it’s the truth.

I hope you’ll check out the Kickstarter and maybe buy a record. It would mean the world to me.