The Waiting (Is The Hardest Part)

There is a part of the creative process that I don’t feel enough people talk about. The “waiting”, it is the hardest part as a wise man once said. I’ve always felt that my favorite part of my job, by far is the moment after the spark. That brief period where you’ve written or recorded something exciting that nobody else has heard. It’s a secret that only I know about, like a great fishing spot or a patch of forest with morels. It’s just for me and it’s the absolute greatest feeling, absolutely intoxicating.

However, like most intoxicants the euphoria doesn’t last forever. If you keep it to yourself for too long you’ll lose interest before anyone else gets a chance to hear it. This is one of the ways that the waiting is brutal. Sometimes inspiration strikes sporadically, there may be months or even years in between compositions. The newest song will always be your current favorite but that old number that you’re already sick of might be the real hit. It might be a banger that you’ve already sucked all the juice out of and if you’re not smart about it could get lost to the ages. The trick is abstinence, not sexually but creatively. Distance makes the heart grow fonder so a good trick is to spend time away from your song, as long as you can. Hopefully you’ll fall in love with it again. The other trick is having a long memory. There was a time when you thought that old song was the business and you have to remember that younger you was onto something, even if current you doesn’t dig it anymore. This is easier said that done, it takes a certain amount of discipline and trust. You must believe in your younger self even though common knowledge of aging implies that your young self was an idiot, this is the exception to that rule. You know how you “only like their old records”? That’s their younger self, there is creative value in being too ignorant to be afraid to take chances . It’s counterintuitive but its true.

So, now you’ve got an collection of new songs that you’re still honeymooning with and old songs that you know are good because your old self said so. Once this compilation is completed it’s time to show it to the world. This is the second phase of the waiting, and it’s gotten harder over the years. For example, in nineteen ninety nine STWHA was finished in June and released in September that same year. That’s fast even by nineties standards but it’s unheard of now. I finished my new solo record in March and am currently making the plans to release it in January. That’s a three times longer wait time to get the record out as it was back in the day. It’s neither good or bad, just different. Most things the music industry are, regardless of what people may tell you. The business isn’t better or worse than it was back then, just constantly evolving. But, that’s a story for another day.

Now, in the age of the internet you can of course have instant gratification. You could finish a song at noon and have it available online in moments. It’s just an uploaded file after all. But, this is the definition of putting something out in a vacuum. Just because something lives in cyberspace doesn't mean anyone knows about it. Nobody can listen to a song that they don’t know exists. You have to promote it, market it, package it, sell it and all these things take time to set up and implement. So, you find yourself sitting with this little masterpiece in your lap that nobody will hear until all those stars align and it is birthed into the world. This is where the madness of doubt rears its head. What if they hate it? What if I’m wrong and this isn’t the magnum opus that I think it is in my head. It’s best to be prepared for disappointment, it is part of the job, but it doesn’t help to give up the ship before it even springs a leak.

So, we wait. Its torturous but necessary. Anything easy isn’t worth doing, good things are worth waiting for, patience is a virtue and other bullshit platitudes that are actually true. The waiting is the hardest part of the creative process because there’s nothing inherently creative about it. Its a meditative skill that I’m still trying to master. With patience I get a little better every day. So it goes.